aroberuka. [WIP] sidequest (5/21) (Reply)

Fandom: The Scum Villain Self-Saving System
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Shen Yuan & Shen Jiu & Yue Qingyuan
Summary: A Shen twins AU. When a botched ritual traps Yue Qingyuan into a dream made of his own memories, it’s up to Shen Yuan and his brother to dive into his mind to find him - and, maybe, reconcile with their shared past in the process.
Content Notes: Canon-typical child abuse and assorted backstory traumas.

Posting this one early, before I have to leave for the day.

One thing I worry about a lot in this fic is hitting the right balance of Shen Yuan as an outside observer v. Shen Yuan as an active participant. I feel like this scene and the previous one get it mostly right, so hopefully I can carry that going forward.

first | previous

***

Waiting for them in the next memory was an older fight, no less vicious because of their youth.

"This is all your fault, Qi-ge, why do you always stick your nose into trouble?!"

Shen Jiu, arms crossed, mouth twisted into a vicious snarl, looked the very picture of frustrated authority. Across him, Yue Qi was rubbing his ankle. From all four corners of the cramped room that housed all eight of Lao Yi's urchins at night, kids were watching the spectacle with expressions ranging from silent sympathy to gleeful fascination. Fights between these two had always drawn a crowd.

Though he’d stayed well out of it at the time, Shen Yuan had been outraged - trust the scum villain to find helping someone in need offensive. Even so, a small part of him couldn’t help but quietly agree. Didn't they have enough trouble already? Yue Qingyuan, ah, Yue Qingyuan - why must you be like this?

But tiny, pitiful Shisan had been missing from the evening’s roundup, and when Yue Qi turned around to find him, Shen Jiu spat and hissed like a cat in fury but followed along anyway. Punctuality was a lesson taught with a heavy hand, and now the four of them were nursing new bruises while waiting for whatever fresh misery the next day would bring. Latecomers always got handed the worst jobs.

"Why do you always do this? Why is it always you? Do you see anyone else playing hero? Can't you let others take responsibility for their own shit even once?"

Shisan was all of six years old. They’d found him wandering aimlessly, with bruises on his face and the wits scared so clean out of him he couldn’t even speak. Cut your juniors some slack, Jiu-ge.

"I told you to go ahead and go home," Yue Qi said. For once, he sounded every bit as tired as he must have felt, coming home from one long day of work only to be met with more fighting.

"And what, leave you to get in trouble on your own? Like that's any better! Would you even have come back at all, if we hadn't been there?"

There was real fear underneath the anger. Yue Qi immediately deflated. All emotions still displayed openly on his wide, honest face. Somehow, even through the years of hardship, he had never learned to hide anything - it would take Cang Qiong for that. He looked far older than his twelve years should allow when he replied:

"How can you even ask? Would I ever leave you behind?"

"This is useless," cut an older, colder Shen Jiu.

Shen Yuan startled, shaken out of the trance the memory had lulled him in.

It was a strange thing, seeing himself from the outside, walking through his own past as seen through Qi-ge's eyes, but not unfamiliar. He could let himself get pulled into it, like getting pulled into a good book. But Shen Jiu wasn’t like him. With every passing memory, he only grew more agitated, uncomfortable with what he must have seen as a twisted push towards self-reflection.

"Ge..."

"Well, it is! What's the point of watching all this? We know well enough what happened."

"Yue Qingyuan-"

"Is not here. Can't you tell? Wouldn't you know?"

He could tell. He would know. He wasn't sure how he could explain it. Yue Qingyuan’s presence was muted, distant.

"That doesn't make this pointless," he argued. "There has to be a reason why the path leading to him is taking us through these memories."

Shen Jiu, not any more inclined to healthy curiosity than to self-reflection, scoffed.

"Of course there's a reason." He flicked his fan at the scene: the three boys ragged, beaten, helpless.
"This is the blemish on his life, the stain he can never get rid of. Or do you think he’s risen so far above us that he doesn’t mind the mud?"

Of course he minded. Who wouldn't? Who would have the face? But minding wasn't the same as resenting, and it wasn't the same as wanting to distance yourself from, either. Shen Yuan wasn't sure his brother had it in him to tell the difference.

Mistaking silence for assent, Shen Jiu raised his chin. "This is useless," he said again. "Let's keep going."

He stalked off, never once looking back.

Before leaving, Shen Yuan took one last look at the small room that had once been the only home they knew. Things were meant to look bigger to a child, but even back then it had been impossible to see this place as anything more than what it was: a box to store them in, sparse, functional, and not an inch bigger than it needed to be.

As if on cue, the door swung open and Lao Yi entered the scene. His face was an unrecognizable blur, but there was no-one else it could be. All eight kids turned at once, fight forgotten in the face of present threat, and bowed before their master.

Shen Yuan turned away from the sight and followed his brother out of the room.